My Coaching Model Is Very Simple:
- Know yourself
- Love yourself
- Trust yourself
On a path towards personal transformation, you’l have to embark quite a few Hero’s journeys into your past. That’s the “know yourself part”.
Usually when working with the clients, a therapist focuses on “why” certain behavioral patterns occur, whereas a life coach focuses on the “how” to work towards a goal. One is mostly dealing with the past, the other one with the future. One mostly helps you heal, the other empowers you to dream big.
Both approaches are equally important for personal transformation and growth. This journey always starts with healing. The “know yourself” part usually comes from bringing awareness to the old programming and patterns from our upbringing into the present, acknowledging and accepting it.
Majority of people know themselves in “bad” light: “I’m impatient”, “I’m clumsy”, “I overthink”. And that’s when the “love yourself” part comes in: reframing these negative beliefs and mindset into positive attributes, identifying your strengths and values: “I’m organized and punctual”, “I’m a human”, “I make mistakes, I learn from them”, “I enjoy planning things and thrive from having structure in my life” and so on.
The “trust yourself” is intertwined with the other two. When you are in the process of healing yourself, it can be a lot. Healing traumas is challenging and uncomfortable. But you gotta trust yourself to know that everything will be ok in the end. Your Hero’s journey will be over, and you’ll eventually see your way out of the dark forest. It just takes time.
Same goes the other way around. Working on your goals will make you feel anxious, defeated, incompetent. if you don’t trust yourself, your dreams, or your feelings.
The point is, you can’t succeed in your “how” (trust yourself and your future) without building the strong foundation of your “why” (know yourself, your past and present): Why does this happen? Why is this important to me?
One can’t be without the other. You’ll always be walking forward towards your dreams, goals, bright future. At any obstacle on your path, you’ll have to clear your way by revisiting your past or limiting beliefs. Over and over. That’s the process and principle of life and growth. You can’t escape neither them , nor the discomfort and. uncertainty that comes with it. You’ll never reach the perfect balance, the perfect you. The faster an easier you accept this, the further you’ll be. What will matter is that you kept going despite imperfections . What will matter will not be. the destination but the journey, not what will happen, but how you will deal with it, what you‘ll learn, how it will change you.
Balancing yourself is the lifetime skill towards never ending growth, not perfection. It all starts from seeing yourself exactly where you are.
